Body Dysmorphia: Signs, Struggles, and Steps to Heal Your Body Image

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

“If I could just lose/gain x pounds, I’d be happy.”

“People tell me I look good, but I don’t see it–I’m sure they’re just being nice.”

“If I don’t workout today, my body will look worse tomorrow.”

“I can’t wear that–people will think I look fat/small/skinny…”

“Why can’t I look like so-and-so? His/Her body is perfect.” 

For those struggling with body dysmorphia, these are very common thoughts. Body dysmorphia is often misunderstood as having a lack of confidence in one’s body, but it’s much deeper than that. Let me share with you what body dysmorphia is, why changing your body won’t “fix” it, and how to navigate life with body dysmorphic disorder.

What Is Body Dysmorphia?

Body dysmorphia, or body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), is an obsession with perceived flaws in one’s appearance. The key word being perceived. These "flaws" often aren’t visible to others or are significantly exaggerated in the mind of the person experiencing BDD.

A helpful comparison is to think of a funhouse mirror, where the mirrors portray your body in all these silly shapes and sizes. If you have body dysmorphic disorder, your perception of yourself is like looking into one of those mirrors—except what you see feels real.

I think distinction is important, because many people claim to have body dysmorphia without fully understanding it. Body dysmorphia isn’t wanting to lose the 20 lbs you gained during pregnancy or striving to gain the 10 lbs of muscle back that you lost after an injury. BDD isn’t about wanting to improve your body; it’s about seeing a distorted version of yourself that no one else sees.

Signs of Body Dysmorphic Disorder

BDD can have a serious impact on mental health. If you struggle with body dysmorphia, you might relate to the following experiences:

1. Obsessive thoughts about your appearance. Your thoughts are constantly consumed by how you look. You get frustrated with yourself for not “looking better,” and you’re always fixating on perceived flaws. 

2. Compulsive behaviors and reassurance seeking. You check your reflection multiple times a day, analyzing every detail of your body—or, on the flip side, you avoid mirrors altogether because seeing yourself is too overwhelming. You frequently ask others if you look alright, but their reassurance never truly helps. Outfits become a daily struggle, and you may change clothes multiple times, trying to find something that “hides” your perceived flaws.

3. Social avoidance. Certain situations can make you feel very uncomfortable, especially if particular attire is expected. For example, let’s say your friends invite you to the beach, where your “flaws” would be exposed. Or, let’s say it’s for a night out at a sports bar. You may be able to wear what you want, but the thought of drinking beer and eating wings with your friends stresses you out, even though it’s something you used to enjoy. 

4. Experiencing high stress and anxiety. The mental toll of body dysmorphic disorder is heavy. The constant internal battle over your appearance is exhausting, leaving little room to actually enjoy life. You may notice your self-worth becoming entirely dependent on how you look, making it difficult to feel confident in any situation.

   
   

   But here’s the frustrating reality—even if you change your body, the way you see yourself likely won't improve. At least not just by changing your body alone.

Why Changing Your Body Won’t Cure Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Here’s the hard truth: If your mind is distorting your body image, no amount of weight loss or muscle gain will ever “fix” the way you see yourself. 

I learned this first-hand. I cut out carbs and dropped my calorie intake to unhealthy levels. My weight dropped from 140 lbs to 114 lbs in just a few months. 

But was I satisfied? 

Nope. I still stood in the mirror, pinching my skin, convinced my legs were massive, and desperately wishing I could chop off the fat. No matter how many compliments I received, none of them registered. I was so embarrassed of my upper thighs that I refused to wear shorts. Summer after summer would pass (my absolute favorite time of year), and I often turned down any plans that involved me wearing a bathing suit. 

I share this to show: The weight wasn’t the problem. My perception was.

Transparently, I still experience dysmorphic thoughts. However, they no longer control my life. They no longer dictate what I wear, where I go, or how I treat my body. While there’s no “cure” for body dysmorphia, there are methods you can use to live a better life and mitigate the negative perceptions you have of yourself.

How to Live a Better Life With Body Dysmorphia

1. Focus on what you DO love about yourself. Shift your attention away from perceived flaws and toward what you do love about yourself—whether it’s physical (your eyes, hair, smile) or something deeper (your kindness, humor, resilience). Remember—beauty begins within. 🙂❤️

2. Limit mirror time. Spending hours analyzing your body in the mirror only reinforces dysmorphic thoughts. I used to spend hours criticizing myself in front of the mirror. Once I began to limit mirror time, my thoughts weren’t as prevalent. The less you focus on your body, the quieter the intrusive thoughts become. If you need to use the mirror to get ready, wear something that is hiding whatever it is you’re insecure about (for me, this means sweatpants). 

3. Learn to accept compliments. Even if you don’t believe them, try simply saying, “thank you,” rather than brushing off the compliments or arguing that they aren't true. Over time, this can even help shift your internal dialogue and you may just start to believe them.

4. Stop comparing your current self to old photos. Are you constantly scrolling through old pictures, longing to look the way you once did? If you do, you’re being completely unfair to yourself. You are not the same person you were back then, nor is your life the same. Life changes, and so does your body. And, that is OK! 

5. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Comparing is a mentally detrimental habit—whether you’re comparing bodies, appearances, skills, personalities—you name it. You are your own unique person, and that is beautiful!

Here are some things to remember:

-Most social media photos are edited AND they're also carefully posed and taken in the best lighting to create a flawless illusion.

-Every body is unique—shaped by genetics, lifestyle, and countless unseen factors.

Body dysmorphia is a battle, but it doesn’t have to control your life. While dysmorphic thoughts may never fully disappear, you can learn to challenge them and still live a fulfilling life. And most importantly, your worth is NOT defined by how you look. You are more than your body. You are more than your reflection. And you deserve to live fully, without the weight of distorted self-perception holding you back.