How to Build a Healthy Relationship With Food (Without Restriction)
- Apr 1
- 5 min read
Updated: May 7
If you asked me when the last time I ate something “unhealthy” was, I’d say yesterday. And the day before that. And probably the day before that…
But I’ve still been making progress on my fitness goals this year—which, by the way, has nothing to do with what the scale says. In fact, I don’t even own one, nor do I know what I weigh.
I don’t measure progress by a number. I measure it by how I feel, what I see in the mirror, and—most importantly—how I’m living my life while working towards my goals. Because if the lifestyle you’re following isn’t sustainable, you won’t be able to maintain the results. The real goal isn't short-term change; it’s building habits that can last a lifetime.
Today, I want to talk about one of the most important parts of overcoming disordered eating: removing restrictions and finding a healthy balance. Once you adopt these habits, you’ll be able to cultivate a new relationship with food.
Why Food Restrictions Don’t Work
The internet and social media are oversaturated with insidious “do’s” and “don’ts” about food.
“Cut out carbs.”
“Avoid dairy.”
“Stop eating sugar.”
“Do a cleanse.”
“Avoid empty calories.”
I’m going to be honest with you—it’s all bullshit.
Let me ask you something:
-Can you cut out carbs for the rest of your life?
-Will you never eat dairy again?
-If your mom makes homemade chocolate chip cookies, will you really decline one as the mouth-watering scent permeates the kitchen?
And my most important question:
Do you want to live that way?
Your body is important, yes. And I completely understand the desire to feel confident in your own skin. But I am here to tell you that you CAN feel confident. You can feel strong and sexy. You can feel all of these ways while still eating the foods you love.
The key is balance.
The Binge-Restrict Cycle Explained
When you’re stuck in the binge-restrict cycle, restriction is what keeps you trapped. The more you tell yourself you can’t have something, the more your body craves it. And eventually, that restriction turns into a binge. Until you allow yourself to eat the foods you actually want, the cycle won’t stop.
But, something beautiful occurs when you stop forcing control and start listening instead. You begin to enjoy food again while gaining confidence in your body and more importantly, yourself.
What Balance With Food Actually Looks Like
Let me walk you through what balance looks like.
Listen to your cravings. When you allow yourself to eat what you’re craving, you reduce the intensity of those cravings. Because the truth is—cravings don’t go away just because you ignore them. Often, they build, leading to a binge. But when you consistently allow yourself to eat what you want, you don’t crave the same way anymore. You will actually feel satisfied.
Date your food. Slow down—eat like you’re on a date with your food. Remove distractions (i.e. TV, phone). Pay attention to the scent, the texture on your tongue, and the taste as you take each bite. Close your eyes to focus more on the senses that matter in this moment. When you rush, you disconnect from your body; you’re not really paying attention to the food. This leads to overeating, making us feel like we need a whole bag of chips rather than a few handfuls.
And I know what you’re thinking…
“There’s no way I could just eat a few handfuls of chips.”
Trust me. I was you. I would have thought the same thing. But when you’re actually
present while eating, not only will you not need more, but you won’t want more.
Pay attention to your hunger. Another common trigger for binge eating is ignoring hunger pains. You tell yourself, “It’s not time to eat yet,” or “I’ll wait a little longer.” Then suddenly, it’s 11 PM and you’re eating everything in sight. Not because you lack control, but because your body is trying to catch up after feeling deprived of fuel.
If you’re hungry—eat! It doesn’t matter what time it is.
Be patient with yourself. Once you begin adopting these habits, it won’t be an overnight transformation. Healing your relationship with food takes time. But if you continue to listen to your body, avoid restrictions, and focus on balance, you will see a remarkable shift—not just in your body, but in your life.
My Life Now: What Having a Healthy Relationship With Food Looks Like
People are often curious about my eating habits now. I get asked how I can eat what I want and look the way I do. They often assume I have a fast metabolism.
Nope...
When I struggled with binge eating disorder (BED), my weight would fluctuate 20 lbs constantly. At one point, I gained 30 lbs in just over a month. And that’s because I was stuck in the cycle of restriction and binging. I actually had a very slow metabolism because of the way I was treating my body.
I changed that. Not by “fixing” my metabolism, but by changing my habits. Now, if I’m craving something, I have it. But those cravings don’t come up the same way anymore. I can have a few slices of pizza instead of an entire pie. A half gallon of ice cream can last me a month.
When I said earlier that I’ve eaten something “unhealthy” every day—that’s true. But here’s what that looks like:
An order of French fries
One cookie
5 taquitos for a little late-night snack
None of that derails my progress, because my goal isn’t to step on stage at 10% body fat. My goal is to feel confident in my own skin—to feel strong and beautiful, while enjoying food. And the most beautiful part about finally achieving a healthy relationship with food is that you can achieve both.
Once you let go and listen to your body, you’ll be surprised how often you begin to crave a “healthy” meal. I probably crave a good salad or smoothie more frequently than I crave chocolate or greasy foods. Especially after some really good workouts.
*But let me be clear—there are still times I’ll devour a full order of wings and fries or go all in on a big ice cream sundae. The difference is, it’s not coming from a place of loss of control or restriction. It’s intentional. It’s enjoying a moment, whether that’s with a group of friends or simply honoring a craving with a huge appetite.
Both are okay. Because, as I’ll probably say a thousand times…
It’s all about balance.
Why Stress Around Food Can Make Things Worse
There’s one important detail I learned years back that I think is so important to share.
I was intrigued by the progress I was making with my body while eating more flexibly than I had in years, so I did some research.
I learned that your body can’t fully relax and digest food when it’s in a state of stress. So when you’re anxious or feeling guilty every time you eat something “unhealthy,” your body may actually struggle to process it—not because of the food itself, but because of the stress surrounding it.
It’s super interesting, but I don’t want to digress too much from today’s focus. I’ll save it for a future blog. However, if you are curious to learn more now, here are a couple sources you can check out:
Let Go of the “Rules”
Eat the bowl of ice cream.
Eat the pizza.
Eat the foods you’ve been telling yourself you “shouldn’t” have.
But—enjoy it. Take your time. Be present. Binging doesn’t occur because you’re eating those foods. It occurs as a result of restriction—the “I shouldn’ts” and the “this is the last time's"
When you let go of those toxic phrases, the need to binge dissipates, and you’ll finally feel free from the binge-restrict cycle.
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